Why didn't the dog come to his master when it was called? It didn't have any legs.

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Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They had left the keys inside and no-one was around to help.

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a white man, an asian man, and a mexican man are on a plane and they realize how inefficient the airline was in filling the flight, seeing as there were only three men on board.

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whats the difference between a black man and a cat? you dont run from a cat

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There are two blonds in a car, the driver to looks to the other blond (carelessly taking in her surroundings) They crash and the passenger is grusomely killed to the point of not being recognized and the driver later commits suicide from the guilt and pending law suit.

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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Q: Why was the child sad? A: because a doctor was taking bullet fragments out of his chest.

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How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

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What did the lady say after she returned home from the grocery store? "Oh no! I forgot the milk!"

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Why did the baby cross the road? he was taped to the chicken

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Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

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Guy1:should I ask this girl out? Guy2:NO!!!!!!! Guy1:????????

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How come Tommy isn't allowed to sing anymore? Because he has a punctured artery, collapsed lung, fractured ribcage, and a failed organ...

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i was quite upset when my girlfriend called me a peodifile, what does she know, shes only 6.

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What do Michael Jackson and a T-Rex have in common? They're both dead.

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Why was Timmy so unpopular at school? Because he caught aids of his pet rock

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Why didn't the man walk up the stairs? He had an acorn stairlift.

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How many athiests does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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whats the differnece between a bag of dead babies and a ferarri? nothing ill never have either

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What happened when the man asked the girl if he could borrow her pencil? Nothing, she was deaf

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Noses are red, Lips are blue, I have hypothermia, So do you.

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knock knock, whos there? the bum bum boys ready to dance :) ``~ ``sms

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You are in a room with hitler and bin Ladin. You have a gun with 1 bullet. Who do shoot? Don't worry you don't have to make that decision. They are already both dead

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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