How do you make an onion cry? Onions are incapable of crying

What did Jamie get for Christmas? Nothing. Jamie is not friends with Christmas.

Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Only musicians will understand.

What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? -They're both purple except the rabbit.

Guns don't kill people, books kill trees.

What did the man say when he saw Niagra falls? Nothing, he was blind.

Whats the difference between a penis and a vagina? Pancakes,

What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Sex

Why couldn't the mexican make a taco? He died.

Why did the car get sucked up by the tornado? Because it was in Pilger, Nebraska.

whats cold, blue and hard? a frozen blueberry.

What's wrong with black people? They tend to make mistakes, as do all humans

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Phil.

How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

Yo momma so fat that she was diagnosed with obesity and may need medical assistance in the future and will be reliant on you, her child.

What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

Why does Joel get so many numbers from girls? Because he asks for them nicely.

Knock Knock Who's there? Your best friend, and I'll always be there for you.

What do Justin Bieber and corn have in common? They are both fruits. Except for the corn.

What do you call Jack Black on a bad day? Kevin Hart.

What do you get when you cross a gay eskimo and a black man? Nothing, as two male humans cannot reproduce.

What is the worst party ever? Nazi.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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