A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

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I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

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What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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you pick up 10 students from a school, you buy a pish from the fet store, and then drive to new york whos driving the bus? a fat guy with a level 80 org in world of warcraft

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whats worse than having ice cream and not eating it? Being lactose intolerant

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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What happened to the hungry child? He got out of Africa

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

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Whats an Anit-joke?? A joke that possesses the kind of humor based on the surprise factor of absence of an expected joke or of a punch line in a narration which is set up as a joke.

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How do you punish Hellen Keller Move the furniture around

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why dont i play socker because im not waering socks

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what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

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Roses are black Violets are black I would love to see A knife in ur back

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How do you cheat your friend up Throw a BRIC at her face.

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What's better than a stick? A stone

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What did the man say before he died? I am going to die.

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Why was the mushroom invited to the party? It was because it was a mushroom costume party

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what do you call an icy road? dangerous.

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Hey! Have you ever heard of the Alzheimers joke?

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Q: what sport has a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench? A:the NBA

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A man walks into a bar. I don't remember the rest, but your mother's a whore.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, oceans don't have hands to wave either

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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