What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender says: "Where would you like to sit, gentlemen"?

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How many black people does it take to tar a roof? Just one. Unless he wants to do it in a shorter amount of time and calls a few friends to help him.

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Yo mamma's so fat she attracts other matter with a force proportional to the product of their masses divided by the square of the distance.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

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Yes

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=3

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A man walks into a bar gets drunk gets in his car and has a terrible crash because he was to intoxicated the end.

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"Knock Knock" "Whose there?" Someone who needs to consider not saying "Knock Knock" every time they are about to enter a building.

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Why was the blonde so stupid? She suffers a severe case of retardation.

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Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? No. Yeah, he died.

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What's a worse place to be besides the friendzone? On your grandmas lap crying because your parents just died in a car crash.

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What's black, white and red all over? A race war

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What isyellow and can't swim? a bulldozer

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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roses are red, violets are red, ive been shot in the eye with a pelet gun, please ,please help

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? You apparently are not a fan of lemons what so ever, so you then throw them away, not knowing what to expect.

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Why did the little girl fall of the cliff? Someone pushed her

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What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

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How many pancakes can you fit into a gopher hole? Red - because ice cream doesn't have any bones.

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My brother is crazy... crazy like a fox! I caught him eating a Possum on the side of the road yesterday.

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what does the monster eat after going to the dentist? the dentist

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A black man and a hispanic man are in a car. Who is driving? The guy who didn't call shotgun.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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