Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock knock Who's there Orange Orange who Orange

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down +3

KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

When u send someone fudge, u must send a note along with it! Roses are red Violets are blue Fudge is brown Here's some fudge

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than losing the remote? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

whats worse than getting lost in europe? becoming the middle in the human centipede.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do people call the completely paralyzed man with no eyes? David, his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

whats worse than a friend asking you if their ugly, telling them to look in the mirror.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the blond say to the other blond? "I like your shoes."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

thumb_up thumb_down +3

whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

An Irishman, a Zimbabwean and a South African walk into a bar... oh wait, it's just the English cricket team.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock I have a f*cking doorbell you asshole

thumb_up thumb_down +1

All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops