whats white and smells like onions? an onion..

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Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

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A man walks into a bar and breaks his nose, he asks the bartender for help The bartender says "no you're a f***ing idiot"

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roses are red, violets are blue, if you want to success, stop being a mess..

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What's nappy,brown,intoxicated,and stealing my bike? A Blazed, black guy that stole my bike.

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What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

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What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

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What did the Golden Retriever say when asked about the meaning of life? woof.

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What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

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why was 6 afraid of 9? because 7 ate 9 and 6 is afraid of ghosts

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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Potassium? K.

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What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

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Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

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pleas help someone is in my house i think hes trying to kill me i'm not even joking.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was convicted of murder and rape

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What's worse than r-a-p-e? Gang r-a-p-e.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops