To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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kieran is a homosexual

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One time there was a man walking down the street. Wrong, it is physically impossible to walk down a street, you can only walk along it.

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What is black and white and red all over? A pile of dead, bleeding, mixed race babies.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Now that we got our colors straight. Hey, how ya doin?

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I stabbed a person. No seriously, I just stabbed them. There's no punchline. Just Just Stab wounds.

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why did the guy get pulled over he had a broken tail light

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People really hate it when sentenses don't end the way elephants wear hats

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? it had vaginal warts

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on the other side of the road people don't question his motives

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Why was the black man hanging from the tree? He fell and had to grab a branch.

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Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

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What did the shy guy say at the speech? Nothing

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what did the obese kid get for chistmas? an athsma attack ,which led to death.

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My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead

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Which is heavier, a tonne of feathers or a tonne of lead? It doesn't matter when your loved ones are being torn apart by bears.

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What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

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Why couldn't the Joker browse the internet? He was using Compuserve.

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Why is the black guy jobless? He's 3 years old.

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Why was the black man carrying the television away from the store? He bought it

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what do you call a fish with no gills? Dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops