Q. What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A. Cancer

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer, the bartender quickly takes out a shot gun and shoots the horse because he is secretly dealing horse meat to tescos

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good morning. good day. good night. good to see you santa

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad at making jokes And your a jew

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Do you know what the worst part about inbreeding is? - It's runs in the family!

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"My father walked out on me." "Oh that's strange because I saw him yesterday and he had no legs."

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Urban ghettos

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Why did the alcoholic stumble into a bar? Because he was bleeding profusely and was desperately seeking a telephone to contact the nearest hospital.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs, who got cancer for Christmas, get for his Birthday? Nothing, he didn't live that long.

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Jim: You wanna hear a funny joke? Tim: Sure Jim: Well, if you want a funny joke, this isn't the place to be.

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Q: why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: He had no arms Q: Why couldn't he get up? A: He died when he hit the ground

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Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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A kid walks into a bar and the bartender yells, "Get Out!"

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Why did the cop hate black people? He was a racist.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

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What's the oppicite of brown???? Something not brown.

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Why is elmo sad? He was brutally raped by Dora :D

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yo mama's so fat, yo mama's so ugly; your mothers breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks

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A man arrives at his work late, his boss says "why are you late?" Then man replys "...................." he was dead.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A new pair of shoes

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A man wakes up in his bed and looks at the clock. He realises he is gonna be late for work. He quickly gets out of bed, into the bathroom, has a shower, puts his deodorant on and brushes his teeth, gets dressed, and goes in his car. He drives out of his garage and drives to his work but gets stuck in traffic. He then gets to the car park of his work and parks his car. He gets out, goes up the elevator to his floor, when the elevator door opens to his floor, he quickly says hello to Terrance and goes to his bosses office. And guess what the boss says? You're late.

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What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

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Why did the blonde walk into a glass wall? Because she either wasn't watching where she was going or the wall was so clean that it appeard not to be there

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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