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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I f**ked your mom last night. Will you marry me?

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Stop looking at these jokes and go fuck yourself.

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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Why did the black guy drink the kool aid? Because there was a glass of kool aid next to him and he was thirsty.

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How do you treat lice Avoid getting them

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What's heavier: a kilogramme of steel or a kilogramme of feathers? A kilogramme of steel, because steel is heavier than feathers.

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What do an eagle and a mole have in common? They both fly, except for the mole.

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Why did Sally fall out of the tree? Because She had no arms or legs... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Knock-Knock? Who's There? Not Sally

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What's worse than failing a school test for Peter? Nothing, because he is asian.

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer..... Just Kidding! He got a bike!

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black people swimming

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Pain is temporary. However, the scars from 3rd degree burns are forever.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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what goes ha ha ha ..plop? We are all going to die.

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Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

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What do you call two gay guys? People who should be living in California.

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How do you make a clown shut up? Throw a axe at it!!

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What's the difference bettween the holocaust and a bee, 6 million jews died during the holocaust. Bees make honey.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No. Neither has he.

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What happend to the girl in the corner? Idk that's why I asked!! :P

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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A man walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar stool. He then proceeds to look over and said a man in a suit and tie open up the window , jumps, and begins to float in mid air. In amazement he approaches the man. He says " That's amazing! How do you do that?" The man in the suit and tie replies "Drink this liquid and you will be able to fly." The man with excitement quickly rushes to the window, opens it, and suddenly falls to his death. The bartender says to the man with the suit and tie " Superman, you're a real dick when your drunk."

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A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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