There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy.

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What's green and blue, and red all over? Nothing. It if were red all over it wouldn't be green and blue.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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A young boy walked in on his mom and dad in their room lastnight They were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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what did the oven say to the firdge you hot baby

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Have you ever watched that show on Lifetime about that woman?

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How many retards does it take to screw in a lightbulb? No number of them could figure it out. They sit in the dark for hours, scared of the monsters.

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because KFC was hiring

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Whats happening when you see your TV floating at night? You are probably suffering from some sort of mental disorder which causes spontaneous hallucinations and should seek medical help before the condition worsens.

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Why was the black person assassinated behind a drug dealers house? He was purposely shot in the leg and bled out before he could make it to help.

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Why was 10 afraid of 9? Because 9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1...Kaboom!

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A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

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Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

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Why was the boy crying in public with no clothes on? Because he had no clothes on in public.

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What is the last thing to go through a flies head before it hits a windshield. Nothing because flies aren't capable if rational thought.

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Who is fat, stupid and pretty dam ugly? (hint: look in mirror)

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Jewish guy walks into a bar. He owns the place.

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Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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