Why did the little boy fall off his bike? He was hit by a truck.

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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9 + 10 = How much yo mama makes.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Whose there? Obviously not Suzie.

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VITAMIN C!

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Why did the paperboy fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him because he was a ginger.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

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Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

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Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

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Why couldn't the teenager go to the pirate movie? He didn't have any money.

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Why did the plane crash? Because a tomato was the pilot.

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Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

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Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

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Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

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What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

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A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

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did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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Whats better than 32 dead babies stapled to 1 tree? - 1 dead baby stapled to 32 trees

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How many zombies can you kill at once? about one or two unless your Chuck Norris with unlimited powers.

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What's red, crunchy, and hard to chew. A brick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops