Two men walk into a bar The first man says to the bartender: 'Can I have a glass of H2O?' The second man says: 'Can I have a glass of H2O too?' The Bartender gives them both glasses of water because he is not irresponsible to serve hydrogen peroxide in his bar.

How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced by the man with a gun.

Why are all the other numbers scared of 7? Beacuse 7 stabbed his mother with a steak knife.

If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

One, two, three, four and five

Roses are red, Violets are red, Daisies are red, OH SHIT! MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!!!

Robin get in the batmobile!

what happens if you drop a spoon? it sounds a lot, and it's annoying

Justin Bieber

A Jewish boy walks up to his father and says: Dad, can I borrow 50 dollars? The dad responds: 40 dollars?!? What are you going to do with 30 dollars?!?

a fat kid walked up to me today at school and claimed he could do more pull ups than i. i found this very funny because i have known this boy since i was two months old, and he witnessed the day where i lost both of my arms to cancer.

Whats 9 plus 10? 19

Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

p

Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

What do Jay Williams, Lebron James, Candace Parker and Maya Moore have in common? They were all winners of the Morgan Wootten Player of the Year Award.

What did the fat man order at McDonalds? Nothing, he was on a diet

Whats worse than getting a B+ in Biology? Getting raped by a scorpion.

Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses the best ingredients.

What happens if you accidentally say your best-male friend's name instead of your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, they're both named Adam.

A man walks into a bar. He tricks a lady into smelling a rag doused with chlorophoam, and rapes her.

What did the blind man say to his wife? -would you mind helping me upstairs, for I cannot see.

A black guy, a Mexican, an Arab and a white guy walk into a room and embrace cultural diversity.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...