What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

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A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

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What did the broom say to the vacuum cleaner? "Your mom sucks."

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Why does ISIS want guns? Because they wanted to kill. Duh.

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Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

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Two elephants were out flying. Then one elephant said to the other: My grandmother has a pink toothbrush!

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2 black guys, a colombian guy and a white girl are sitting at a bar. They are friends.

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In a galaxy far, far, away.... There were quasars, stars, and various sized meteors.

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What's worse than strapping 10 dead baibes to a tree? Strapping a dead baby to 10 trees.

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why did the black man shoot himself? because he commited a crime and was sorry for what he had done

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink successfully, pays, and leaves. Three weeks later he dies tragically.

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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A Mexican and an African American are in a car, who is driving? The Mexican, while the African American rides in the passenger seat.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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what do you call justin bieber having sex baby baby baby oh

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The blonde, brunette and,the red headed girls were at a store. When the blonde says......... im tired let's leave.

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DONT think about ELEPHANTS. Your thinking about elephants now.

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LOVING BIRD DIEING BIRD DO NOT FLY AWAY

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Why was the little boy sad? -Because he was on Fire.

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Q: Why did the grand mother drop her cane? A: She got pused out a window.

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Why was the black man in Jail? He works there as a correctional officer.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Biting into an orange and finding Helen Kellar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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