You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

why couldn't jimmy play on the swings at recess.. Because he's been dead for 5 years

What did the blonde waitress say to the man with a curly moustache? Good evening, are you ready to order?; yes [x2]; and what would you like with it?; certanly; there you go; no, I'm sorry; right.

A boy is diagnosed with terminal cancer. His family prays for him and he still dies.

What do tigers dream of when they take a tiger snooze? Mike Tyson

what is similar between a turtle losing its shell, and a man selling his chlothes and house? they are now both naked and homeless

A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He asks the doctor, "The strip of metal teeth is missing from the box, so could I borrow your scissors?"

knock knock who's there? pizza man ok

What did the black guy say to the slave driver. Nothing, slavery no longer exists.

there were 2 black men and a mexican man in a car. who as driving? we cant tell from the problem but is is more likely it is a black guy because there are 2 of him and 1 mexican.

what's blue and looks like a shirt? a blue shirt

What do the Chinese call "Ping Pong"? Ping Pong

Why did the girl stop running? Because she is in a wheelchair and will never walk again

Q:how do you save a black guy from drowning A: you shoot him

Roses are red Violets are blue Does this rag smell Like chloroform to you?

man:"gullible is written on the celling" boy looks up

what happens when you try to believe it's not butter? 34 Indonesian kids lose their job.

How many holes can you poke in my chest, When my chest is by far the best If you believe you can stab Then then grab a knife...that you can grab Skewer my breast Which lies on the best chest And you will discover A man under your covers Yes, keep on pokin' Poke my chest with the knife you are strokin' And then swallow a chode because you are stupid.

Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Bartender asks her, "why the long face?". She tells him it's from her parent's genes.

Q: pete and re-pete were on a boat, pete fell off. who was left? A: i dont know, but why did pete fall off in the first place, that dumb ass

what is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a cadilac. a cadilac is something i want

A jew walks into a church. he wishes to be touched by God.

did you see stevie wonder's new guitar no neither did he

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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