How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

Whats red and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket Whats blue and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

So three Irish guys walk out of a bar

A man dressed as a woman gets hit in the nuts they fall to the ground in pain

What's worse than the common cold? The Plague.

How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

whats the difference between a black and a bunk bed? a bunk bed can support 2 kids.

Why did little Timmy scrape his knee? He was launched off of an aircraft carrier.

Why did the man hit the little boy? His brakes failed.

Whats the same between a baby and pizza? their both edible

What did the man say when he saw his t.v. floating in the middle of the night? I must be seeing things. By logic, televisions don't float. My weary eyes must be playing tricks on me and I should probably go back to sleep.

Every time I walk across the street I do the Hitler march and raise my arm straight out to salute him, if I feel like holding up traffic, I take smaller steps

What did the transvestite say to the fox? 'scuse me, you've got something on your shoe.

What did the black guy do in the hood? walked down the street, bought the paper and watched Letterman.

ill take a bullet for you... on call of duty... nahhh that ruins my kd

What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

Knock knock. Who's there? IRS. Youre being audited, Sir.

What do you call a black person born in America? American.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm drunk, I want Taco Bell.

What did the mexican say to the black guy? He asked if he needed some drugs. Why? He was a pharmacist.

What has two legs and is red all over? Half a dog.

What did the terrorist get for Christmas? A bullet in his head.

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

"So, what do you fancy doing tonight?" "Does it matter? We'll end up doing what you want anyway..."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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