How do you get rid of Herpes? You can't.

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"How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door." "How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door." "The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend.... except one. Which one?" "The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator." "There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat." "You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting."

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Whats Green and Smells Like Grass? Grass

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How do Chinese people name their kids? They could look up a baby-names book, consult their family history, or make one up

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Roses are red violets are purple what the hell happened to your ugly face

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are also red, "Honey, please call the fire department!"

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Yes, I did not begin this alone, but things got complicated, you know who Alex Knight is right?

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The people who posted those extremely long "jokes" down there have no life.

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Yo momma's so fat, that she got baptised in Sea World.

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What kind of Mexican makes no money? A Mexican without a job.

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Q: What's worse than ten babies stapled to one tree? A: One baby stapled to ten trees.

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Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

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what's worse than finding 8 dead babies in 1 trash can?....... 1 dead baby in 8 trash cans.

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How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

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Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? He's dead.

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what did your mum say when she ran into chuck norris? hello chuck norris

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What did the man with a colostomy bag say after his home was destroyed in a fire? At least all my shit’s in one place.

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Fuck off, seriously, if your name is Tifa, my name is bah, I got better things to do.

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why couldn't the girl sit down? she didn't have a butt.

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why did the horse drop its ice cream Because it doesnt have thumbs so it cant hold the ice cream

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What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

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My girlfriend told me "Give me twelve inches and make it hurt" I ejaculated prematurely and fell asleep.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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