What do Lebron James and Bill Murray have in common? They are both black basketball players. Except for bill murray

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How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

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So there's this guy, and he's trying to screw in a lightbulb, right? Well, he did it. Hoorah. His wife was proud.

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Why don't you ever want to greet your friend Jack on the plane? Because your wife cheated on you with him and she is having his baby, if you were to even think about talking to Jack, you'd end up slitting his throat and throwing him off the side of the plane into a crocodile pit where they will make a feast of his body for the next couple days... So just don't greet Jack

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a duck was clearing out his apartment when he came across a rat. the rat turned into a genie. 'i will grant you 3 wishes' said the genie. 'whats the catch?' replied the duck 'can i touch your dinkle?'

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Why cant your mom breathe She chockin on my D**K

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting stabbed.

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What did Billy Mays eat for breakfast? nothing, he's dead.

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"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

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How do you cheat your friend up Throw a BRIC at her face.

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What do you call a man with no legs? A leg-less man.

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Q: What do you call a black person flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

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Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

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what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

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p

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says: Why the long face? The horse says: "My wife's dead."

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Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us << Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us << Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <<

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Q: What's big, black, and smelly? A: The unemployment line.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Why can't dogs fly? Because they do not have wings.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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