I see said the blind man, to his deaf wife, as the cripple ran by.

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A ham sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says "We don't serve food here."

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Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your dick taste like shit.

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What does a chocolate bar and a dolphin have in common? Nothing

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

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A man climbs a tree, falls, and breaks his legs. He will never walk again

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yo mama so old that back in her school she didnt have history class

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What's worse than a trash can of dead babies? The one at the bottom that has to eat it's way out.

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Did you just fall from heaven? If not I'm gonna beat the shit out of you

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Q: What do you call an exact duplicate of Homer Simpson who's been enhanced with numerous special powers and a strength-boosting inducer among other beneficial additions? A: A mobidly overweigth individual who hasn't realized what the phrase, "Go on a diet", even denotes/implies.

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What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you? Someone else's cheese.

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What does Santa and a grape have in common? They're both purple, except Santa.

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MOTHER OF GOD!! What is this horse doing in here?!

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Why are you on this sight? You're procrastinating. I am too

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An elephant stomped on a mouse. What did the mouse say? Ouch.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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Why did the girl start crying? Her pet sunflower had just died.

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Michael Brown

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What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medication prescribed by her doctor.

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What did the Chinese guy say to the black guy? Nothing, the black guy dosen't speak chinese.

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Q:Why don't black people go on cruises? A:They already fell for that trick once.

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A sheep croses the road It gets hit by a car.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Poems don't have to rhyme... Refrigerator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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