What's the difference between a cheeseburger and a dead baby............I don't j!zz on the cheeseburger before I eat it.

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Hey Eliza, thanks, while I appreciate the help, Alice is crying in a corner and refusing to get up, I wont lie, for a moment there I could "see voices and music" and valium has taken care of the ptsd (and blown most of my brain, which is nice for a change). With that said, im on 40 mg ritalin which is a lot, but I need it, besides I can handle the anxiety. I have no idea who the guy typing this is, but he is following me to the letter, so thats good enough, except his typos being worse than mine, which is pretty good for a guy that barely speaks english. Sorry Eliza, but Alice is having a breakdown here, ill talk her down a bit first, she tries to hide it, but she is far more worried about me than I am, which is nice, just not like this, ill be right back with you.

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Why are stand up comedians called stand up comedians? Because they are standing up while telling jokes, dumby.

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I was in the 74th hunger games I hid in the cornucopia until almost everyone was dead. Then I saw Katniss and Peeta so while they were distracted with night lock I pulled a rubber chicken out of my ass and beat the shit out of them till they died then I won the 75th hunger game also. They asked me to be there mocking jay but I killed them all and blew the plane up in the Capitol the end. By Adam Chebali

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Whats 2 Plus 2? God Just Solve It.

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This is SPARTA! SPARTA? THIS IS MADNESS! (kicks guy down well) What is hurt! Baby dont love me, dont love me, no more. Moral: The funny thing is probably that the line makes a lot more sense all of sudden does it not?

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How do you scare a plumber? Kill his family.

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What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

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Why is the interesting goat so talented at chess? He's Bobby Fischer's dad.

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Knock, Knock... Whose there? No one... you have no friends.

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why does pink turn into blue it doesnt you just get hit by a frigde because you cried whe you got shot several times

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What you call it when 8 goes over 4? An improper fraction.

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What's black, smoking, and sitting at the top of the stairs? Steven Hawking after a house fire.

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what do you call a fat man standing in the middle of the street a fat man

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A black man walked out a window of a 20 story building a detective arives at the scene it was night time and he said wheres the body.

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Roses are red violets are blue i have aids and now so do you

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What shoes keep dogs quiet? Hush puppies.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin that someone shot with red paintballs.

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A man gets home from work with red on his collar. His wife asks what it is. The man replies "I had sex with a young woman, your to old and you disqust me"

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her to jump over your car, then drive by in a truck

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A group of young men walks into a bar. They drink some booze, laugh, have a great time and then go home to sleep.

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Q1: How do you get an elephant to laugh? A1: Tell it a joke. Q2: How do you get a cow to laugh? A2: Cows can't laugh.

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what's worse, ten babies stapled to a tree or one baby stapled to ten trees?

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Why did Rebecca Black die? She killed herself due to the cruelty of many people

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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