Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Me either. Well, later. Later.

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What's white, black, red, and flies? An airplane pilot with a battleaxe driven into his head

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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Whats the difference between a watermelon and babies I don't have a pile of dead watermelon in my basement

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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how do u make a snooker table laugh? TICKLE ITS BALLS HAHA

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How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen Beatle? Two in the front, two in the back, and one hundred in the ash tray.

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Q: How do you drown a black guy? A: Hold his head underwater and sit on his back.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock -Who's there Not Sarah

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What did Hitler say to the Jewish boy? Nothing, Hitler died many years ago...

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Why couldn't the Jew get pregnant? Because he was man.

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Whats green and fluffy? Your mom.

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whats harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree? my dick wile i do it

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Oh shit my gardens on fire

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Knock knock Who's there Guess who? Billy, is that you? Yeah baby I'm home! OMG!!!

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oh hai i'm al gore reduce ur carbon footprint lolz

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Your momma is so fat that she's developed a cardiovascular disease and has 5 weeks to live

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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What's the difference between a duck and male black prostitute? The duck is says quack

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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What did the snowman say when winter was ending? -Nothing you dumbass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops