What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

Fine Nero, but I will be keeping an eye on you.

on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

Wanna hear a joke? Zeke friends Wanna hear a better jokes? Zeke with his friends

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

Why do eggs come in 12? because 13 is bad luck

A black person goes up to the drive through at popeye's, what did they say? Nothing, it was closed.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

What's stupid a light bulb.

Andi: I have a great knock-knock joke, but you need to start it. Jake: Okay...Knock-knock! Andi: Who's there? Jake: ...

What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

Whats the difference between wayne rooney and shrek? Well, one, shrek is fictional. Two if he was fictional,he is green. Wayne rooney is not green. Three wayne rooney plays for a football team, surely shrek has no idea what football is. The list goes on.

How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

Q. what did voldemort get for christmas that harry potter didnt? A. dinner with his parents

That`s my friends phone, I can call you from mine too if you want, please just don't hurt me, let me speak to you, I promise I will explain everything.

what did the kid with no hair get for christmas? cancer.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. To get to the other side.

Donald Trump decided to run for President.

A drunk man into a bar. He is ripping apart a family

"Knock knock?" "Who's there?" "Two dead kittens."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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