Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

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When does 1+1=3? When the condom fails.

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Did you know that Claire Seiter likes to drinkapplseiter? No. Oh well she does..

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Two men walk into a bar The first man says to the bartender: 'Can I have a glass of H2O?' The second man says: 'Can I have a glass of H2O too?' The Bartender gives them both glasses of water because he is not irresponsible to serve hydrogen peroxide in his bar.

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And if we met in 1780, I was a white southern aristocratic plantation owner and you were my dark skinned servant lady ... slave Whenever I could get away from the Mrs., I'd go to your shed and then I'd steal you kisses. But let's be serious, I'd still work you full time as a slave, there's a difference between romantic language and a complete disregard for socioeconomic trends.

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There's a donut on a cruise ship and he goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain goes "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and says "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain replies "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain says "NO!" and throws him over board Theres a couple on the cruise ship and the man was going to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and propose. So he was showing his bestfriend (who was also on the cruise ship) the ring. But was he pulled it out the wind picked up and the ring fell over board. So the man was forced to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and couldn't propose. So they go to dinner and the both get crab. And when they open up the crab and guess what's in the crab?! Not the ring the donut!!!

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what did the chicken say when it crossed the road? you know. chickens arent the only animal that can cross roads! why can it be why did the racoon cross the roads? because that happens more frequently!

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A blond, brunet, and redhead were stranded on an island. With in a week they all died of starvation.

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Why didn't the man walk up the stairs? He had an acorn stairlift.

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Q What happened to the kid with diabetis and a one legged mom A. He got hit by a bus

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A white man and a drunken black man enters the bar, the bartender calls the cop and the black man is dragged into the police car. The black man screams YOU ARE RACIST! YOU DAMN RACISTS! The cops tell him he has been walking around the streets naked the last 2 days... Oooh... I am really sorry sir says the black man. He was forgiven and went sober forever. Moral: No moral, that is the anti moral in this anti joke...and besides I am a W class celebrity.enjoy life

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Some potential names for Justin Beiber's next album: Headache Wailing and Screaming Eardrum Rapist Anger Half Price Indescribable Out of Print April Fools The Sounds of Hell Torture Ear Basher

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why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

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what has balls and is long and suckible? Spaghetti

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How do you kill a clown? You smash his face into a brick.

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Why should you never push a Mexican off a bike? Because he will file a lawsuit against you in the event of an injury.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Grass is green, Clouds are white.

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how did helen keller's parents punish her? stuck a plunger in the toilet

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black chicken. kfc

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two men write a poem one says quack the other says woof what is the middle of the number witch is amazing because who ever is reading this you are beautiful and have chucken food ion your cheek bone connected to the knee cap indeed i shall write on to you guys saying how lovley it is TO MAKE FIRENDS WITH CHICKENS

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:)Knock Knock :(Whose's there? :)None ya :(None ya who? :)None ya dam business.

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whats red, sits in a corner and is slowly getting smaller and smaller baby with a cheese grater whats green and sits motionless in the corner same baby 2 weeks later

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Whats dark, has an opening, and guys like to go into it? A Vagina

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop 397, IF you have a big tounge

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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