What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

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can you pass the soap?

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What did the mother say when the train hit her? Bad train! We don't hit!

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What did Michelle Obama get for Christmas? Cancer

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why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

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i like turtles

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Whats happening when you see your TV floating at night? You are probably suffering from some sort of mental disorder which causes spontaneous hallucinations and should seek medical help before the condition worsens.

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What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medication prescribed by her doctor.

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Someone asked me "What rhymes with Orange?" I replied "Door hinge." He punched me.

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Spongebob. "Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24." Patrick "Let me hear it." Spongebob "25"

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[Insert anti-joke here]

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? She didn't have arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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Why did the chicken die? Because it was crossing a busy road.

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What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red pain is spilled on it.

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Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

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Whats worse than getting a B+ in Biology? Getting raped by a scorpion.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a brick at him.

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Knock knock Who's there? A Jehovahs Witness

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what's the difference between a jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your nuts with a jew.

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What's worse than discovering a hornet's nest next to your house? Being raped.

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Why did the man hang himself? Because his pistol misfired.

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You know that song "FIrework" by Katy Perry? Well, I ate a hotdog last night.

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What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops