Why did the chicken cross the road? Because earlier that day, the chicken was taking a shiit, and when he went to wipe, there was no toilet tissue, so he ran upstairs to his parents room, and shot them both with a shotgun, then he ate them while they were still gasping for air, then the neighbors heard the gunshots so they came over to make sure everything was alright, but little did they know that the chicken planned for it and they were electricuted to a crisp by the fence, oh yeah, why did the chicken cross the road? Because the store for chips was across the street

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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What did the Jewish man say to the Shia faction Muslim man? Even though we have different views on god and religion I value your friendship more than my religous views.

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Roses are blurred Violets too I have astigmatism I cant see shit

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What did the dead woman say to the murderer nothing dead people cant talk

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What did the boy say to the elders at the senior center? Dayum, you're all ugly!

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Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

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A. Why did the boy cross the road? B. Why? A. I don't know! That's why I'm asking you.

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Knock Knock Who's there? (Pause) Who's there? Hello? Bloody kids

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Q. Why didn't the Hero rescue the princess? A. Because he crunched some numbers, realized the incredible odds against him, and decided against it.

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What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp? There is none, one is a female human being with blonde hair and the other is a headlamp with a halogen lightbulb.

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Q: why does batman die in the end of dark night rises? A: he smoked got cancer and died.

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Cyrus: Can you dig it?! Phil: I can feel it calling in the air tonite……..oh lord

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Jhon is riding his wheelchair, but can't get up the driveway. Lucky a stranger passes by. Jhon: Can you help me please sir? Stranger: No

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Why did the Mexican jump of the roof? Because he had a serious meth addiction that was destroying his family and he could not live with the awful things he did to get his fix.

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Q:Whats the difference between NBC and the NBA? A: The NBA is the National Basketball Assocation and NBC is The No Body Cares.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? I don't hammer the watermon

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

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a man walks into a house... then realizes its not his house and leaves.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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Y didnt the grandma go to christmas? She died on thanksgiving

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a dedicated fat guy joins a kung fu dojo he is asked to dedicate his like to his kung fu the fat man dose not he is already dedicated to being a fat guy

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Q: Are their Jews in Hell? A: No, because Hitlers there

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A lil girl walks in to a bar........................ all a sudden a giant purple bunny jump up into her butt... now every time she poops its an easter egg hunt. LBall

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops