Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

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Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

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What did the frat guy drink after he lifted? A various assortment of beverages that were chilled at a cool 66 degrees.

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A life-sized cardboard cut out of Justin Bieber was in a contest with a cut out of Liam Neeson. It was stiff competition.

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You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why can't a chicken cross a road without it being questioned?

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If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

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I like that, yet I wonder if our subconscious knows what it is what we seek, maybe we need to tell ourselves that we will find happiness, and then the mind leads us there.

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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Your mother sleeps around so much that I worry that she may be taking too much medicine for her insomnia.

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quantum physics?

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How many Santa Clauses does it take to change a light bulb? Santa Claus isn't real.

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why couldn't the girl watch t.v? Because her house burned down

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What do you call a small chinese person? They prefer the term little person to the term midget.

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Why did the chicken croos the road? It didnt, my father caught him and cooked him for dinner.

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whats the best anti joke ever? mine you dipshit

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what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

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Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

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Q: How are a plum and a rabbit alike? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He never did because he's in KFC

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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How do you get into USA from mexico? Climb a fence

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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