A handicapped man walks into a bar...

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Mary had a little lamb And a side of fries.

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Roses are nice, violets are fine, ill be the 6, if you be the 9!

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Who row's? •Liam Findlay

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what's black, white and doesn't float? the titanic

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Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

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A man walked into a bar. He has been in a coma for six weeks now.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

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What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

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Why can a black man beat a white man in basketball? They are generally better at basketball Why cant a black man beat a KKK member in basketball? He valued his life and didnt want to die

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

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what did the lesbian say to the man? I don't like penis

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why was the blond so easy,because ALL blonds are whores.

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A cow and a goat are at the top of a hill. The cow starts to eat the grass, and the goat says, "Hey! That's mine!"

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What do you call a black man in space An astronaut

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

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What did the archangel Michael say to Jesus? "Hello, Jesus."

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A blonde walks out of a hair salon She had just dyed her hair.

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What did Jamie get for Christmas? Nothing. Jamie is not friends with Christmas.

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Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

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Q: what did the emo girl use to check her email? A: A computer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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