Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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what do you get when you cross a jellyfish, a jar, and a brown crayon? i dont know, im not into genetics, and jars dont have genes.

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Why did the prince kiss his beloved just before going into battle? Intermission.

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Why is the man's nose bleeding? Because I punched him in the nose. He looked at me funny.

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Rose: Mom, why was I named Rose? Mom: Because when you were born a rose petal landed on your head. Rose: Than why is my brother named Brick? Mom: I liked the name.

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what's worse then the holocaust finding a worm in your apple.

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Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

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That awkward moment when you get in the van and there's no candy.

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Why didn't John get a present for Christmas? Because John died eight months ago.

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How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

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what did one gay guy say to the other gay guy? want to suck dicks? (cause that's what gays do)

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Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

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There was three women stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

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A drunkard walked into a bar, and up to the bartender. He proceeded to **** the **** until he ******. I proceeded to break down in immense frustration over censorship.

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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Yo mama's like Darfur: Everyone feels bad for her, but nobody offers any substantial assistance.

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Stop making fun of Stevie Wonder, you dont seen what he has.

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What do u call a white hourse with no ass Penelope

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I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNET! WELCOME TO FÅG! DIE X-FÅGGOT! XD Okay Fagneto`s roll me out of here, I am done with the super important last message to uh... You? No wait that sounds wrong, stop laughing you korean piece of... Seriously sorry I am drugged, you guys put enough valium in me to kill a cow, so please roll me out... I used to have a lot of korean friend you know, but then I killed them for being korea... seriously my fingers magically type shit when I am done, please roll me out of here, and fill that... Kundalini express? Is it me or did this get even more fagneto... Get me out of here now now now no

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate you so suck on poo.

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what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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