Two Jews are sitting in a large oven. They realize it is a dangerous place to be and get out of the oven.

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Yo' Mommas so poor, She has to ask close family friends and relatives for money so she can feed you.

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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What happened to Johnny when he tripped over his shoelace? He was shot by the man who was following him.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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What's the worst thing that can go wrong while trying to archieve something you desperately want? -Everything.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

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Your momma is so old, she qualifies for multiple financial aid programs provided by the government.

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Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry he used lube.

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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A man walks into a bar, and he died.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Did you hear the one about the deaf guy and the rhinoceros? Neither did he.

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roses are red violets are blue if you and your sister were hanging from a cliff i'd save your sister

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hi

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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NO I AM NEROCHAN LEFT!

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well thats a stupid question, just one.

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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what did the 3 year old get for her birthday? nothing she died of terminal cancer at the age of 2

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roses are red violets are red the whole world is red i started the holocaust

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? It's socially acceptable to sit on a bench.

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What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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