What do you call a place full of large volumes of random, unwanted knowledge? The usersub on this site.

Q why did the kids make fun of timmy A because he was an android with al chunk of metal added accidentally where a real boys crotch would be. Bwilkster

Fine, the facts add up, excuse me if disinfecting what is left of my eyeball hurts like a bitch and reminds me of the fun I had losing about half of it and my eyelid left/right eyelid (I cannot tell left from right, I was born that way, on the bright side I can use both hands for everything). You know, I am sorry for taking such drastic measures, you know I could have spent the entire day with my wife and both my eyes, we where going on a trip around the world and stuff. Instead she is in police custody and I am stuck looking like a fucking pirate and my friend here does not quite get that its not the aching burning pain of living hell that gets to me, but rather the sensation of feeling pain at the core of my fucking eye whose sensation is so fucking overwhelming that I get just a little bit ticked off. Fucking hell am I glad we do not have a kid. I cannot pick up the phone, you see, its not my number, I paid off a couple of friends (do not really know them) To change their names to Nero. Now, if this is true and you have no idea who assaulted me, then you should have no problem knowing that I wont reveal where you live because we live pretty close to one another, you are not the only one that has proxies. If you do not mind you will have to chat with me here for a while, my eye hurts like a bitch and the fucked up sensation gives me just a tiny bit of anxiety, I will answer the phone, when my fucking hands stop trembling, I already dropped the fucking cell twice. Now it is busted and my friend is trying to put the chip into the other one yadayada, given the conditions I will call you,

Roses are red, Violets are blue.. And IDGAF!

What did the German girl say to me? entschuldigen Sie (excuse me)

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares, it's a chicken.

a fat kid walked up to me today at school and claimed he could do more pull ups than i. i found this very funny because i have known this boy since i was two months old, and he witnessed the day where i lost both of my arms to cancer.

What did the apple say to the pear? ...Nothing they can't talk...

How many fish fingers does it take to change a lightbulb? Five.

Roses are flowers.

What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea? It gets Wet.

What is the difference between tea pot and shinkansen? shinkansen is very quick train and tea pot is traditional piece of dishes..

What did the fat man say to the Spaniard? Nothing. The Spaniard was skinny and so the fat man was jealous and shot him in the face.

Human race: Let's play hide and seek! BOEING MH370: K faggotz :P

What happens when you give a guinea pig a cherry? He turns into satan.

What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

Anti-Joke is a knock-off.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being taken to the slaughter house

What did one butthole say to the other butthole? I'm actually not sure. I wasn't there when he said it.

Well Here Goes Nothing And nothing happened

What do you do if you find blood in your poo? Stop stabbing yourself in the arse with a fork on wednesdays...

How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

Yo mama so old, she must take arthritus medicine to keep out of extreme pain.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Systemic oppression.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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