A man walks into a bar, it's funny because he is an alcholholic

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Why can't basketball players play hockey? Because hockey and basketball season occur at the same time.

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my boloney has a first name its OSCAR, my boloney has a last name its MEYER.. now bend over son while i shove my boloney in ur butt!

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If a tree falls in the forest, but nothing is there to hear it, does it still make noise ? Yes, because whether the action of the three falling produces sound waves or not is not dependent on whether something is there to receive these waves.

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why was the woman silent? she lost the ability to speak in a tragic boating accident in which her vocals chords were damaged thus making it incapable for her to utter anything

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How did the fireman get the cat out the tree? He sprayed it with a hose, killing it in the process.

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Why couldn't Jimmy eat his food? Because I threw a microwave at him

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what do you call a black guy african american

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Yes, I'll have the cordon bleu, see voo play.

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A man walks into a bar.. and has a bomb strapped to his chest

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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A girl walked into a bar and sat next to a man. She asked what he was drinking. He said something that makes you fly. She didn't believe him. He then went up to the roof, jumped off and walked back in the front door. She got the drink then tried to jump off the roof, and died on impact. The bartender said to the man "You're a real asshole when you're drunk superman."

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have you seen Helen Keller's bird house? neither has she

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Roses are red, violets are blue, twilight is gay and Justi Bieber too.

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A guy walked into a bar. He got drunk. He hit a small child with his Suburu and was charged with a DUI.

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Q: There's a Brit, Kenyan, German, and Colombian in one room. Where are they? A: Public School

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Womens rights

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Why is an elephant big, gray and lumpy? Because if it was small, white and smooth it would be an Asprin.

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What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

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whats black, white, and red all over? your mum

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Knock knock? Who's there? You have cancer.

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A boy's parents buy him a Wii for Christmas. The boy hangs himself the next day because you need arms to play Wii.

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Q: what's wrong with this sentence? My dogs is running in the garden A: I don't have a garden

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NO ONE LIKES YOU!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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