Man walks into a hotel on Friday, Stays for three days and leaves on Friday. How is this possible? A. His horses name was Friday

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Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

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Why are watermelons green? 9, because cows like to eat grass.

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welcome to anti joke.com. you were expecting an anti joke wernt you.

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Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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=3

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Josh Groban, John Mayer, Ben Folds and Nick Cave are at an underground club that specialises in lithuanian folk music and siberian vodka. end of story

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What does it say on the back of Superman`s cape on the "new" movie? My other actor was an awesome dude, all I got now is this asshole... Moral: Christopher Reeve... takes lasers... shotguns, eats lava with his cornflakes... falls of a horse... dies... Moral2: HEY What is the booing for? This is the ANTI JOKE! SECTION... but now to my sincerest thoughts... Moral 3: R.I.P Christohper Reeve, he lived and died with hope... Dying happy while suffering from one of the worst things that can happen to a human being, is an inspiration to us all! True superman!

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human centipede

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What's facial hair? Hair that slowly progresses to grow out of certain areas on your face.

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Have you heard the one about the Priest, the Pastor, and the Mail Man? -no, how's that go? Oh you haven't? That's too bad, it's really good.

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What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophob? a blowjob

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Why was the man happy to see his wife dead? He beat her

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What do you call a guy with an axe in his head? Chuck

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Why are Pirates called Pirates? Because the word originates from the term Pirata which means 'sea attacker' in Latin.

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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Q: What did the dog say to the owner when he took him to the vet? A: Nothing. It's a dog. It can't talk.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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The other day I went to the holocaust museum and it was horrible No air conditioning or cold drinks

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whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

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So seriously you have never ever played videogames before?

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

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why was the little boy screaming. he realized he was an asian

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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