Jim: Kevin, how old are you? Kevin cries because they are twins. His Brother was hit in the head with a bat yesterday and does not remember anything.

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what do you call when a penis is inside a vagina? sex

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Some people devote their to talking in their head. Jesus christ.

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Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

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What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

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A blonde walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What're you drinking?" The blonde says, "Nothing yet. That's why I'm in a bar. But your lack of basic observation skills is disturbing."

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Yo mama so stupid, she scored poorly on her SAT exams in high school. She was unable to recieve a college education. She now works as a full time waitress at a small diner. She earns minimum wage and is still getting nowhere on her search for a better job.

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Knock Knock Sadly the old woman was death and didn't hear the door knock.

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Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

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A cheerio gets a job at McDonalds and after working for a while, he gets employee of the month and goes to the district ball. While there, he meets a female(frosted) cheerio whom he asks out. She refuses because she only dates frosted cheerios. So, the male goes back to work for the next year, and his boss is happy with his work, so he asks him if he would like anything. The cheerio says yes, i want to be frosted. The boss says ok, i'll make you frosted, so now that he's frosted, he goes back to the ball. He asks the same female cheerio out, she says yes this time. He then asks her if she wants something to drink, she says yes. She wants some milk. So the guy stands in line for about 15 minutes, when he gets to the front, there is no more milk left. So he asks her if she would like some tea. she says yes. So he goes and stands in line for another 15 minutes only to find out there is no more tea. So then he asks her if she would like some punch, shesays yes. So after an hour of searching, he finds out there is no punchline......

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What do you say to somebody that wont shut up Shut up!!!!

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Why did the cow cross the road? He probably saw a delicious looking patch of grass on the otherside.

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What sits on a shelf and says hey im a book? A person who thinks hes a book.

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Mom mom momie mom mom mom mom momie mother mother. What! Hi.

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What did the boy in the wheelchair get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

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Roses are red Violets are red I have Ebola

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Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. This is a poem about flowers.

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

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Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

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What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

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Why was the boy sad? He was harassed by his mum who died in the 1800's and went into a depressive state in which he drove himself to death using a pair of pliers and a rechargeable battery. No, he really just stubbed his toe.

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One, two, three, four and five

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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