Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I actually take my shoes off when I jump on the trampoline.

roses are red violets are blue i done your mom and i do you too

What did the grizzly bears have for lunch? Fish and tourists.

A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

Q :Why did the girl fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.

Why did the Albino cross the road? He was going to the skin pigment store.

Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

Knock knock? Who's there? Why don't you answer the damn door and find out for yourself?

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have sufficient stability in his arm at that moment causing him to loosen his grip and drop his ice cream.

What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.

Why did the blonde die? She was slurped up by a 1,000 foot anteater.

How many Ringmasters does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They tell the clowns to do it

If Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and Charlie Sheen were in a room together and you had a gun with two bullets, who would you shoot? Well Hitler and Bin Laden are already dead, and Charlie probably wouldn't die. Plus, I honestly don't think I could bring myself to shoot someone.

Why did Timmy masticate in front of everyone at the dinner table? If he hadn't, he would have choked on large chunks of food.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: WHERE'S MY TRACTOR?!

What did the mexican firefighter name his kids? Jose and Pablo

I like my coffee like i like my women, blonde with big boobs.

When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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