How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? Hi!

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How do you kill a clown? You smash his face into a brick.

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why was Logan sad? he was raped by his daddy multiple times

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Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

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whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? babies aren't fruit.

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In Soviet Russia, the same thing that happens here, happens there.

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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what is black and white and read all over? A penguin in a blender

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Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

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What's worse than finding a worm in an apple? Finding out that your girlfriend is really a drag queen and that that is why you have never had sex. -Harrison

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What's worse than 1 bee sting ? 2 bee stings What's worse than 2 bee stings ? the holocaust what's worse than the holocaust ? 3 bee stings

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite TV show? She doesn't have one - She is blind and deaf.

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What's worst then a parking ticket? The plague

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Two muffins were in an oven. The first muffin says: 'It sure is hot in here!' The second muffin says: 'Why are they only cooking two muffins?'

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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What do you get when you cross a chicken and a dinosaur? You can't. Dinosaurs are extinct.

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What's worse than the holocaust? nothing it was a terrible act in history

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Knock knock knock OCD

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A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

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What is black and blue and doesn't like sex? The 6 year old in my basement.

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Theres a tomatoe a cucumber and a mouth. HA

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are polemicists.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane act

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops