A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

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A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde go on vacation in Hawaii. They plan to swim to the next island. The brunette and redhead do it with no problem. The blonde swims halfway and realizes she is tired. She continues to swim straight ahead knowing her friends are already at the next island.

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A Irish leaves and bump in to a really tall the Irish sorry boss

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a blonde does something stupid. she dies. its funny.

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what is the difference between a jew and a boy scout? a boy scout comes home from camp

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A gay man walks into a pregnant woman

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What do you call a black man with a peg leg? Disabled

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What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

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Knock knock Whos there Who Who who Don't stutter it was just a joke

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why barack obama sad he realized the 4 trillion dollars of debt wasn't going be solved by borrowing more money

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What is the similarity between John W. Booth and Pee Wee Herman? They both got arrested for shooting someone in the back of the head in the theater.

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Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

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Snape dies. ^ Spoiler Alert tarelona major

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roses are red violets are blue me + you =the perfect 2

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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Tony Romo

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The one under this is a fake. i wrote the real one

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why are there so many peadofiles in the world? sexy kids.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

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Why did the pedophile cross the road? To molest a child.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

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What do you call a guy with an axe in his head? Chuck

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What's the difference between the Hulk and the Thing? One's green.

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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