why does paul mccartney not wear shoes? cause a nigga stole it

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Here is a nursery rhyme: Jane is a scruff, she has a head full of nits. She also had pain in her great big... Now don't get excited. Don't be mislead. Because all that Jane had was a pain in her head!

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Q. Why did the kid drop his tennis racket? A. Because he got run over by a tank!

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A duck walks into the bar, buys a beer, steals your woman, wins a bar fight, pistol whips a police officer, departs and shouts Aflac

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Why was the plumber sad? Because his whole family died in a plane crash.

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Your mother is so fat, she is at great risk for developing diabetes mellitus type 2.

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what is red, white, and spins around real fast? a baby in a washing machine

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Why didn't junior say thank you for his christmas present from his dad? He was raised by two moms

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once upon a time there was a chicken, it crossed a road however unlikely this chicken has become famed for its crossing and will be hailed for eternity. through the chickens actions thus the first anti joke was born

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Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

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what has four legs but cant move? dead dog

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Why is the sky blue? Time to get a watch.

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Then help me understand Nero, people had the free and legal right to decide to be a part of our, or your society if you prefer, where has that option gone now? Where is the people that choose to believe in their own potential and in the one of their equals? Today we live in a society where its basically pop culture to dislike oneself, where it is considered narcissism to like oneself, and you know that we have both been affected, while those we considered allies before, have joined the same people that branded us evil.

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Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have multi-personality disorder. Patient: Which one of us?

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whats worse than the Holocaust....6 million Jews

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Person 1: "Broo my dicks like 19 inches!" Person 2: "Thas not healthy, an erection that big will deprive your brain of too much blood and kill you."

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Here's a riddle... A cowboy rides into town on saturday, stays for three days, and leaves on saturday... How does he do it? Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... OH... I'M DONE NOW...

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What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

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Why did the man eat his cellphone? Because he has a serious mental disability, and did not know that it was not a normal thing to do, and for anybody to laugh at him for doing something like this is just a sick person.

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ok there is 3 people and the white kid says "bet i got a better dick than all of you" he pulls it out and then the mexican says "nope got you beat" and then the black guy says "nope got all you beat look" and then the mexican and white guys say "its because your black" so the black guy goes home and tells his mom wht happen and ask " is it true mines bigger because im black?" she said " no it bc your 23"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

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knock knock whos there I AM YOUR MOTHER!!!!

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why was the frog sad..... because it was stappled to the boys face

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Knock Knock Who's there? Eric, your old high school pal! Eric, you slept with my wife 3 years ago. You have her, please stop coming to my door and please stop saying your my pal. Pals don't sleep with other guys' wives.

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Why is my room black and white? Because your in a black and white movie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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