In other news, a Florida man was arrested today for stealing candy...with a knife.

what's worse then the holocaust finding a worm in your apple.

Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

Have u ever noticed why a Police car siren isnt as loud as an ambulance siren? Do u know why that is? Because i dont, and i would like to know because my over active and curious brain is pounding through my skull and throbbing with question and wont stop until i know the answer!

why'd the chicken cross the road It didn't, it was safely placed inside a chook house

my brother yells at me for singing in the shower so i scream "how can you hate from outside the tub when you cant even get in?"

A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

What did Jamie get for Christmas? Nothing. Jamie is not friends with Christmas.

What animal wouldn't you want to play games with? Probably none of them. They are animals and incapable of playing board games.

Q: what's worse then stubing yout toe? A: getting raped by godzilla

Why did the black man commit suicide? Because he was killed by a white cop.

Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

When black people wore their pants low, white people called it "Saggin" little did they know that "saggin" spelled backwards is "white supremacy" those sneaky white people

Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

Knock Knock Who's there? Your best friend, and I'll always be there for you.

Do I ever ask yo a question that I havn't given you the answer to Mr Hearty.

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

what is like a duck and quacks ? A duck.

Human: Are you a frayed knot? Frayed knot: I'm afraid so.

-Why did the chicken cross the road? '' I dont know '' -Because it would cross the road and over to you. -Knock knock? '' Who's there?'' - CHICKEN!!!!!!!

A Jew with a boner runs into a wall, what hits first? His nose

wow i bet grass is lucky on st patricks day. why? becuase its green all year. *smacks* ow. i kno. but hey im corn.

Crime in a hen house. All hens killed. Police found the suspected fox quickly and asked him if he have done it. No - he said. But it was him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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