What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

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A pope meets another one

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roses are red, violets are fine, you be the six, and I'll be the nine.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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What did the statue say to the other statue? stat-you?

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The guy didn't respond because he was deaf.

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What the difference between a circle and a triangle? You're an idiot if you don't know the difference.

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what did eric foreman get for christmas? a foot in his ass.

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a black guy walks into a store and is caught stealing things the police are called they get there and hes calmly escorted to the police car

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense? You watch a suspenseful TV program and pause at the right moment.

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yo momma so fat dora couldn't even explore her!!!

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How many easily offended people does it take to change a light bulb? Shut up, that's not funny!

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A person affected by Alzheimer's is asked a knock knock question- Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Wait what are we doing again?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? It was taped to the other monkey

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So I said to the man "That's no banana, thats my wife!"

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What's worse than falling in the mud whilst wearing a suit? Burying your parents.

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How do you get your dog to stop barking? You snap its neck.

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Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

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How do you scare Sarah Palin? You chase her around with a chainsaw while wearing a Jason mask.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not intelligent enough to realize the hazardous dangers of crossing the street.

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i am an arrow and i did not hit your knee!f

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why did the little boy start to cry? because his parents didn't love him

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How did Bush really get into the White House? The front door.

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Did you hear about the Australian man who was jumped by a gang of Americans with knifes? He had his cash and possessions stolen from him, and had to spend two weeks in hospital due to stab wounds.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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