Your mother is so morbidly obese that she greatly exceeds the necessary recommended serving sizes of each meal.

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Who is JP? A really smart kid! HAHA jk

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Gary.

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Why did Hitler kill himslef? He saw his gas bills.

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What happens when you put a baby, a dog and a cat in the same bag They will all most likely suffocate if left in the bag too long

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What do you call an awesome bucket? An epic pail.

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Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

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Why is the mexican navy so bad? They have insufficient funds to give to their military as they are a 2nd world country.

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What do you call a black women serving 60 years in prison? A prisoner.

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Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

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what did the robot say to the black guy? I'LL BE BACK

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A black man, a white man and a Jewish man all live in the same apartment block. Which is most likely to be at work? None of them, it's Sunday. [L]

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How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

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Santa and a smart blonde jump of a cliff. Who gets to the ground first? Neither, they don't exist.

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Two homosexuals are making love in the kitchen. One leaves for a bit and says, "Dont finish without me." Upon returning, white goo is spattered across the floor. Concerned that the clumsily dropped icing may stain, they promptly clean it.

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What's orange and is a loyalist in the orange order? Caoimhin McCann?

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What did the man say after jumping into a well? He didn't say anything because he died instantly after jumping head first into a dry, 20 foot well. His family mourned for three days.

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Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

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- Why an Asian crossed the road? - Because he wanted to.

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I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

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What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red pain is spilled on it.

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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so a blind man walks into a bar, then a chair, then a table.

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How do you make an egg laugh? That is an irrational question eggs are inanimate object and are unable to laugh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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