Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

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Jehovas Witnesses: Summer vacation edition reality show: BItch: Do you know Jesus? Guy: Goddammit you A*Beep*SSHOLES again! I keep telling you all this is m0thertrucking Spain, I know like 500 Jesus`s living in this town alone! *slams door* Moral: Everybody knows at least something about the goddamn Jesus! Ill try asking "Is he the guy that lives downstairs?" Next time and see what happens.

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What do polar bears have that no other animal has? Polar bear babies.

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What did the black man say to the white man when the white man was drunk and naked on the roof dancing? Quit fucking around Brad and get off my roof or I'm calling the police because this is the third time this month.

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Justing Bieber walks in a bar. Everyone shoots him.

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time to spruce up!

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Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a Playground in her back yard? Neither did she.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob What do you call that same kid when he's at your doorstep? Matt What do you call that same kid when he's hanging in your room? I don't know, but you should stop calling him names.

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What can bankrupt people buy? Free stuff.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A:I don't know i was asking you P.S. leave your answer in the comments below :D

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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Where can you find a tetraplegic? Where you left him.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The police catch them, and they are sentenced to jail.

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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Whats long and black and goes around corners? The unemployment line.

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So two people have conversation Luke: Hi Logan: Hi Snake eyes: ALHSKjagjdaoggj;jdjg;aj;kaj'dgajd Luke: You are so smart! (you retarted piece of poo) Logan: GAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBEEEEEEN

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What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

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A black man walked out a window of a 20 story building a detective arives at the scene it was night time and he said wheres the body.

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How did the Jewish man play racquetball? With a racket and a birdie.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Knock knock I'M IN THE BATHROOM !!

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Are you from Africa because YOU GOT AIDS

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What do you call a black man on the moon? Another successful moon landing by NASA in which the African-American astronaut went on a successful moon walk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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