So a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order some wine and have an enjoyable evening.

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Two guys walk into a bar together. They are diagnosed with a concussion and later on in life have serious brain issues

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How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

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Why did the blonde walk into the bar? To get a beer.

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Q. Whats the diffrence between a squirl and a chipmunk? A. A squirl has a squirl mom and a squirl dad while a chipmunk has a chipmunk mom and a chipmunk dad.

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A ham sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says "We don't serve food here."

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How many dead guys does it take to build a shed? None. The contractor did it for 40 dollars an hour using maple wood.

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If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

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I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the rest of te people in his car.

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Why did the little girl walk into the wall? Because she was blind.

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Ms Leong Sux

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Why did the mexican cross the street? Because the next lawn to mow was in a different neighborhood

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why did the little girl fall off the swing? she was a double amputee.

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There was a man posting an anti-joke... He had no life

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Why did the monk shave his head? So he's more aerodynamic.

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Why is the earth round? Because God saw it was flat and thought "too flat lets turn it around" And all was good.

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What do you call a Black guy picking cottnon? A cottonpicker

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Fine, ladies first.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

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"You must defeat Shen Long to stand a chance"

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Neil is a reterd.

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A man walks into a bar with a giant banana as a head and the bartender asks why he has a giant banana as a head and the man says get me a drink and i will explain, the bartender got the man a drink and he started to explain why, so i found this real nice golden lamp and i rubbed it next thing you know this genie pops out and he said i get three wishes the first one he wishes for unlimited wealth with a snap of the genies fingers the wish came true next he wished to be the most handsome man ever with a spin and a snap the wish came true but this is where it went wrong, I said to the genie and i cant believe he got me with this one (because genies always put a twist on things) i said: i wish for my head to be a banana

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Why do sharks swim in salt water? Pepper water makes them sneeze! Why do whales swim in salt water? They can't survive in fresh water.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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