Why didn't the cat play with the ball of yarn? It was drowned in a toilet.

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Q: Why was the chicken waterboarded? A: Because the guy liked being cruel to animals.

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Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

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What's worse than finding your whole family dead? Nothing. Finding your family dead is terrible.

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If a train leaves Chicago at 50 miles per hour, how hard does the baby strapped to the tracks get splattered?

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I rode in to town on an ass... ur momas ass!!

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Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

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what happens when Pinocchio says "My nose is growing"?

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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So a man and a woman are siting at the same park table Woman: sir are you touching my leg erotically Man: No mam for you see I am a parapaligec

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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What's black and white, and red all over? Old movies that have ketchup on them.

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One time I said to my friend, "There are too many black people in this country." I forgot he was black.

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What comes out of a zit? Purple poop.

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What's funnier than British people ? Their tea in the Harbor

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why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

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Why were you in an igloo? I don't know, why were you?

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Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I`ve got a car behind me. Don`t worry about that you have aids.

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mirror mirror on the wall who has the most desire of them all? Matt Daly!

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Your friend says "Hi" What do you say back? You say "chunky salsa?" She said "what?" You think she knows you made out with her boyfriend last night. So... You blurt out " I'm SO sorry I made out with your boyfriend lastnight" Know.... Your dead meat.

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Q What happened to the kid with diabetis and a one legged mom A. He got hit by a bus

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Whats worse than the holocaust? WNBA

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Roses are red, pink, white or yellow. Stop stereotyping my arrogant fellow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops