What did Osama bin Laden say to Jesus? Nothing. He's in hell.

Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

Why were our jokes deleted? Because it's anti-joke.

How can a black person and a white person be friends? The civil right's movement.

When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? There are more birds on that side

A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

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What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

You know who can't stand to put up with my shit? Polio victims.

What do you call a cow that's not cooked? A cow

What is green and red all over? A christmas tree that is internally bleading.

what did the oven say to the firdge you hot baby

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage!

What's the one game that black people are good at? Flashlight tag.

Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

A car with three black people in it is driven off a cliff and everyone dies. Why is this a tragedy? Because it is always a tragedy when human life is lost.

"This is what kind of fail class?" "AN EPIC FAIL!"

A deaf man walks into a bar. Someone yells, "FIRE!" and everyone evacuates. The deaf man does not hear him and dies horribly.

Here comes the bride, all dressed in white. Here comes the groom, carrying a broom, because somebody spilled something on the floor.

What do you say to the man break dancing?? You don't, call an ambulance he is having an epileptic fit.

Why was the boy afraid? Because he had just seen his dog get ran over by a tractor

What is the difference between Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers? One's name is Jason, and the other's name is Michael.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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