What is Mary short for? She has no legs.

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

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What happens when metal and ice collide together? The Titanic

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Bacon makes everything delicious, yes? And coffee makes everything exciting, yes? Put the two together and you get a caffeinated porky roller coaster in your mouth.

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What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

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A blonde was taking a Math exam, so she brought her Asian boyfriend with her. It turns out they were going to his father's retirement party afterwards.

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POOP.....People Order Our Patties

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Women's Rights.

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when life givs you lemons you say no thank you i dont take food from strangers

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

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Why did the rose look so brown? Because it was dead

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Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

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Whats The difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash And one is a watermelon

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what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

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Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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A Polish man walks into a bar and says, "Co za asy..."

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why didn't the boy cross the street? He didn't have legs

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How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops