when push comes to shove, shove repeatedly explains to push that she needs to stop stealing his money and find a new place to live. Push then leaves, allowing shove to return back to his sofa and finish watching the basketball game.

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Boy: Excuse me, do you have a cigarette? Man: First let me see your ID. Boy: I don't have an ID Man: Well, how much money do you have? Boy: 50 cents Man: Sorry, I don't have any cigarettes. Boy: Good job, I'm actually undercover cop and you sir are a good citizen for not giving a minor cigarettes. Man: Cool, do I get a reward? Boy: Yes, you will receive a good citizen award and free $50 coupon. Man: Thank you! Boy: Can I have a cigarette now? Man: I wasn't lying when I said I didn't have any cigarettes. Boy: Okay, have a nice day.

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Why did the book fly to Cambodia? It was on a plane that was delivering educational material to third world countries to enhance their schools and increase their literacy.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A jew is a person of the jewish faith and a pizza is delicious food.

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What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red paint is spilled on it.

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why should not women able to vote? because their stupid and should not vote at all

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jesus can walk on water but chuck norris can swim through land

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What kind of coffee did they drink on the Titanic? They didn't. They all died.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks. The rest of the bar patrons are thoroughly confused.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: Why did the lizard fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the moneky

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Why is Coldplay really big in Japan? They're tall guys.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor, beause he was feeling really crumby...becuase he has testicular cancer

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no.

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Q. Why doesn't a woman need a wrist watch? A. Because they're actually becoming generally obsolete with the advent of the cell phone.

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what did the boy with cancer get for Christmas a pair of shoes

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Your mom is so ugly and stupid that people make fun of her and that's not nice.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know most poems rhyme, This one doesn't

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Why was the asian boy abused? He got an B in math

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why did the magician stop doing magic ? he got hit by a bus and died

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What do you call a girl who can run faster than me? Virgin

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What did the mom say to her daughter? I love you.

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An American, a Mexican and a Cuban are in a car. For they are heading to the store to buy groceries and then come home to make dinner.

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Why did the kid poop his pants? He was a baby

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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