Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

How do you say hooker in Chinese? ?

Guess what sucks! A Vaccume. Guess what blows! A Sucky Vaccume.

Why was Jacob not allowed to play sports? He fell down in the middle off the street and got ran over 50 times and could never do anything again.

What do you call a Jewish dinosaur? Fossil Fuel

Your mama is so black, she contributes regularly to the NAACP and the United Negro College Fund. Her donations and volunteer work help greatly.

Why did the black man go to jail? Because he committed a criminal offense.

don't do anything i wouldn't do first

Why was the girl crying? She prolapsed.

What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

Paris Hilton spend 2 whole days in the slammer due to possesion of narcotics. I would have gotten 20 to life... no... it's not funny...

roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

Why couldn't the horse open the door? - Because it was locked...Beeeeeeeeeeeeeef Jelly

A man drinks a java while using Java His java was hot, making him spill on his laptop Blue screen of death

what did hitler say when the allies invaded germany i did NAZI that coming

A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

what did the monitor say to the boy? Im a Monitor

What do you call a murderer who killed a black man. kkk

There was three women stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

Why did the blonde leave the lamp on while sleeping? Because it helps to see in case you need to get up in the middle of the night. YOU THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO SAY "BECAUSE THEY'RE A LIGHT SLEEPER!" MUAHAHAHAHAHA

Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

What did the man with a colostomy bag say after his home was destroyed in a fire? At least all my shit’s in one place.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...