How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

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What is worse than a dog bite? A shark bite.

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What is worse then dying of testicular cancer? Living of testicular cancer and having one amputated?

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How do you get a black guy down from your tree? You can't, because there aint any.

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Whats fluffy, multicolored, and dances like a disco santaclaus? i don't know.

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What did Chuck Testa do when he saw she had died of a heart attack? He cried and gave her a proper funeral and burial.

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Josh brown loves Jessica Potts from Dylan xoxo

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what do u call a dumbass phone cia cias phone

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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What do you call a fat computer? Adele :)

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What did I say to the joke? What? Correct.

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I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

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The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

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So this guy is waiting for a heart transplant. He dies.

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What do you call your female dog? Your bitch

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Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

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A fat guy!

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Why was the boy sad? A crazed drifter killed his family and made him watch.

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Why did the car break down? Because breakfast was done.

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Q: 1 out of every 44 presidents can dunk, who is it? A: How the hell am i suppost to know

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What did Marshawn Lynch say? Yeah

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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