What happens when an alien goes out in the rain It gets wet

A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

What do you call a deer in the wild? a deer

What did the drunk homeless man get for his birthday? Liver cancer.

What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

Why didn't the man tip his waitress? Because he's a cheap bastard.

A man was struck by lightning. What did you think he got super powers or something? No. He died a horrible death

Q: What are 4 consecutive fart's called? A: Fart's, unless someone gives them names?

You having friends.

Why did humpty dumpty fall off a wall? Well it turns out that he was a raging psycopath. to add on, he was also a suicidal

Chuck Norris once jumped off of a 9 story building. He broke half of the bones in his body because he is 71 years old.

did you hear about the argument between jamie jacob and dylan? daniel killed them all

How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

how do you make a cat get out of a tree you shot it

There are 3 Chinese guys migrating to the USA, Chu, Bu and Fu. . Chu added a 'ck' to? his name and became Chuck Bu did the same thing and became Buck. Fu got sent back to china

Roses are red Violets are blue Not all poems rhyme Penis

What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

A Man Gets Cancer He eventually Loses all his hair and drops dead

Q:Whats worse than stubbing your toe? A: Watching a terrorist saw your dads arm off.

Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

Once upon of time, there was an ugly duckling. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

What do you call a white guy in a mostly black neighborhood? His name.

Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...