q: what do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex? a: sex, just like everyome else calls it

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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What's worse than stepping in tar? Getting your face ripped off by a man sized Tarantula

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

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THAT AWKWARD MOMENT... nuff said

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I went to the local RSPCA office today....it's tiny, you couldnt swing a cat in it.

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once upon a time jess was happy this once upon a time was a very long time ago, BABADOOK !

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Her hair was fine, her scent was great, now show me your fucking ****.......please

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What's the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies? There isn't a BMW in my garage.

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A boy got scratched by a dog and nearly killed him. When he grew up, a dog came running up to him and started biting and scratching him till he couldn't handle it. Then a plane crashed into him and he died.

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How do you help a black person find a job ? Tell them places that are hiring.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Nope.

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Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he's working out.

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whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bike? they both get hit by cars in shady neighborhoods, like Copiague, New York

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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how do yopu punish helen keller? Ground her, just like you would with any other child.

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Yanter, Look it up

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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