Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I killed your family, and now i'm coming after you.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares...he didn't make it anyways..

a guy walks in to a bar in iraq. 10 people died because of it

Mexicans don't use lightbulbs because they can't afford them.

A Jew walks into a bar, he buys it.

I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

Why did sally drop her drink? Because she was hit by a bus. Knock Knock. "whos there?" Not sally.

How did the old man die? His family locked him in the basement and then burned the house

Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

If rocks were people, what would you call a bunch of marble rolling down a hill? Rocks don't have the ability to be people.

how did the farmer die? his dog shot him

How many fairies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

Why did the chicken croos the road? He was battling severe depression at the time. His alcoholism was tearing his family apart, he was declining in job performance and his boss threatened to fire him several times. I guess at that point he just decided to end it all. It was horribly tragic, policemen knocking on the door of his wife's chicken roost and informing her of the bad news. As soon as she heard, she rushed to the scene, only to see his mangled body spread across the street, intestines falling out. They held a closed casket funeral. Formal, all black. It was raining by the time the casket was brought to the cemetery to be buried. She hasn't stopped crying since. His children ask her, where's dad, but all she can do is weep. Suicide is bad, kids

Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

What did the police officer say to the bank robber? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be provided for you at government expense.

What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

A man questions wether a cat will always land on it's feet. He takes a cat from a pet store and tosses it into the air. The cat lands on it's feet. Startled, the cat runs into the street and gets hit by a car. The man goes to prison for theft and animal abuse.

A man walks into his cubicle and sits down. After a long day of work, he goes home and happens to die whilst eating dinner.

Boy:U a dime Girl: she said ur a quarter Boy:-_- dumb B***h

What do you call a white guy in a mostly black neighborhood? His name.

Friends, they're like food. If you eat them, they die.

Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was being held hostage on the other side.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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