look im not better than you, your a ten im a two your a queen im a fool you got looks i got scares u got talent i got beuty to its a win win

What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

what did one paper football say to the other? did you get flicked off too.

What is worse then rain on your wedding day? Getting married.

Why did the plane crash? The Pilot Wash a Loaf of Bread

What's worse than eating half a worm? Eating somebody's brain.

Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

The black man at the narcotics anonymous meeting said, "oh, this isn't bingo is it?" then walked out of the room feeling mildly embarassed.

Everybody has a penis! EVERY BODY! WHY can't feminists admit this obvious anatomical fact? Gahhhh!

Why did Suzie die? She ate too many fried twinkies.

Whats so funny about the women bringing fast food home for her family? Nothing shes a single mother who does'nt have time to make food between her two jobs.

How do you scare off a ghost? Tell him your ready for a commitment.

what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

My name is me I like fired chicken!

A blonde, a red head, and a brunette are on an island. Due to the law of averages, this isn't that unlikely or significant.

Why did the boy eat the chips? Because he was hungry

A guy has spikey things in his butt, what happened?............... He fell on a cactus.

-Knock! Knock! -Who's there? -Bob. Is Brian's here? -Wrong adress. Brian's home is the first one at your right. -Oh sorry. Have a nice day.

a black man walks out of popeyes

why dont you throw rocks at a mexican on a bike? its unethical and can severely hurt the individual on the bike

Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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