If I said you had a beautiful body would you stop asking me if those jeans make you look fat?

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What do you get if you mix a baby with a blender? A prison sentence.

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y does byonce sing to the left? because black people have no rights

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Iceland is actually green and Greenland is actually icy and Germany started the Holocaust.

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If I was in a room with Osama bin laden and george bush, and my friend. And I had a gun with two bullets, I'd shoot my friend twice.

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How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

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Knock, Knock Whos there? Banana Banana Who? Banana i didn't say your moms dead.

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Whats the difference between a Dodo and an Elephant? They're both extinct. Excluding the elephant

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why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

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Your mom is soo fat that when God said "let there be light" he had to ask her to move

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yo Dawg I heard you like dogs... So I sent yo ass to prison and got an NFL contract

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Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree? A: Throw a moneky at her

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A man is driving down the highway. He falls asleep at the wheel due to his case of narcolepsy, and dies in a fiery car crash.

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what happened to the kid who opened the goldfish? he got eaten by a cixelsyd dinosaur

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God made Coke God made Pepsi God made me, Oh so sexy

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Why was the black man afraid of leaving his house? Because he has severe agoraphobia and cannot function normally in society.

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I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The fact that you actually took time to read this cynically hypnotizing answer that you cannot seem to stop reading even though you know that this sentence is just a clever run to show the epitomy of the anti joke. ha-ha.

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Nero, you got followers, people that believe in you, ironically maybe a lot less now, that I have been giving them the fake illusion that I am you, why did you never reveal your true self? Is there something wrong with you physically? Something you fear being judged upon? I love and admire your work, and you to be honest, I know you are married and all, but my heart has chosen its path, it cant be helped really, believe me, I have tried. Dont lose hope in yourself, sometimes you have to accept that you are smarter, wiser, more compassionate and vulnerable than the rest, allowing yourself to be a vulnerable person, also shows how strong you are, if you shut it all away in order to become "strong", you know you end up alone and forgotten. I understand why someone such as you loses hope in humanity, but as long as you hold into the hope of you having the wisdom and courage required to stand on your own with pride rather than shame of your strength and individuality as a human being, something ever rarer I concur, then you have the right to consider yourself greater rather than some arrogant jackass, believe me, I know the man I am speaking about.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: That depends how hard you throw them... Q: Whats worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees...

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happy birthday! Its not my birthday! Oh i just assumed from your smell. That doesn't make much sense does it? It does. No it doesnt. Are you sure? Yes. Oh. Do i smell? Like chickens. Oh. I wish i were alive. What? Bobbing for apples? what? You smell like a toilet seat. Fine! You never spend time with me any more! I dont like you! oh. you know who nobody likes? Who? amanda burchell.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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What's the most confusing day in Mexico? Father's Day.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: It depends on how hard you throw them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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