Duncan walks into a bar and is greeted by his friends Eric and Tom. Duncan tells them that his wife left and took the kids. Duncan then goes home and hangs himself.

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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There once was a man from Nantucket, who had his car stolen and wasn't very happy so called the police.

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what's funny about war? nothing!

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far from its body.

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A Refrigerator

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If X = 3 and Y = 7, what is X + Y = ? It doesn't matter. You forgot to put your name on the test which means you got an automatic fail.

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Why is did the blonde cross the road? She was trying to catch the chicken.

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Why was the boy seeing stars? It was night time.

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When an anvil and a feather are dropped off a building the anvil will hit the ground first because it's heavy

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What's worse than strapping 10 dead baibes to a tree? Strapping a dead baby to 10 trees.

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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Friend: Hey dude, you wanna come to my house after school and do some Meth? Other Friend: Nah I dont wanna get scabs all over my skin, disgusting teeth, and im not in the mood for dying early. Im good here.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue Wait Arent Violets purple?

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What's worse than 10 babies in a trashcan? One baby in 10 trashcans.

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Yo mama's so ugly, one day she looked in the mirror and her face was a wreck. Later that day she committed suicide.

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One day little billy was wandering happily through the forest.He then trips and his legs disintegrate

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What's blue? The sky.

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whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? thier skin tone.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? It is a science fiction show about a time traveller

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I am a dwarf and im digging a hole... lol jokes dwarfs are mythological creatures and therefore do not exist

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what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

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Like is like a penis long and easy. But women make it hard

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops