Why was the orphan's christmas sad? He got a violent chest infection and died.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your mom. Just kidding, it's the pizza guy. Pizza guy who?

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an irishman walks past a bar a.w. j.p.

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- (commits suicide)

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Friend: Dude are you going to see the hunger games? Me: But i alreay seen it Friend: Dafuq? its not even out yet. Me: African children invented the hunger games. Friend: -.-

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An airplane flies due north at 100 m/s through a 30 m/s cross wind blowing from the east to the west. Determine the resultant velocity of the airplane.

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You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

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Why'd Carly fall off the swing? She got hit by a bus

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Knock knock. Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mop who? (I eat ma poo) Haha. ~Ali M.~

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A catholic priest and Jerry Sandusky walk out of an elementary school.

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A man walks in to a bar, remembering he was actually going to the hardware store, he heads out and leave.

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If Waldo and Carmen Sandiego had a child it would be fictional.

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When ducks fly in a V formation do you know why one side is longer than the other? Because there are more ducks on that side.

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What was pauls mum screaming? Rape

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Why did the black man eat lucky charms? Because it was breakfast time and he was hungry.

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What's the difference between Elisabeth Fritzl and Pope John Paul II? Pope John Paul II wasn't imprisoned and raped continuously over a 24 year period in a horrific act of cruelty by his father

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it was diagnosed with cancer and didn't want to live any more

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The number 69 is? Just a plain old number that has just as much meaning as 68 and 70.

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When Chuck Norris realized that there was a more superior being than himself. What did he say? Suck it Safka

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Why was the cat unable to drink its milk? He was stapled to the wall

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I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I have a pint or two.

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What did the cannibal eat for breakfast? Waffles.

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a suicidal man walks up 49 floors and enters a room and opens the window. hes worked there for 5 years and the air condition is broken

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Nothing, you heartless asshole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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