A man walks into a bar and orders four shots. Before the bartender asks "If it really is that bad of a day". The man says "Yea I need this shit". The next day the bar is overwhelmed with police and investigators. The bartender had emptied a revolver in the tired business man's face and vanished.

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why did Sally fall off of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there?

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what did the apple say to the orange ? nothing, apples are a fruit and do not have any organs which allow it to be able to talk.

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what is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a cadilac. a cadilac is something i want

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What do you call a dog with 3 legs? Just because it has 3 legs dosnt mean you have to call it anything different

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Why couldn't little Billy fall asleep. Because Billy didn't have any counting skills to be able to coins sheep

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What do you call a Mexican that is jumping off a building? A suicidal jumper!

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What's black and Has 8 legs? Gang Rape.

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What did the penguin say to the peacock? Die, you homosexual!

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Why did Sally fall off the tree? I could explain officer. You see, I was jogging and I was looking for my dog and she went on to me and I told her to stop but she wouldn't listen. I'm innocent I tell you! Innocent!

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Sigh, everybody in the world hates me :( Moral: Seven billion people? Realy?

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One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

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Your momma is so fat that she's developed a cardiovascular disease and has 5 weeks to live

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Knock Knock No one's home Okay, I'll come back later.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ed. Ed who? Ed Begley Jr.

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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So Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station....

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

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What did the douche bag get for Christmas?

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Why were you at a funeral? Someone died.

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A man is at the doctor's office and the doctor says to the man: "I'm sorry sir, you have AIDS and Alzheimer's disease." The man says: "Well, at least I don't have AIDS!"

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If you can cut half a rope. You can cut the whole rope.

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Man 1: Ask me if im a flower Man 2: "are you a flower?" Man 1: if i was a flower do you think i could talk? man 1 was wondering why man 2 was so uneducated

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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