Two polar bears, oddly enough, are sitting in a bathtub. One of them asks "Could you pass the soap?" The other obliges and gives him the soap.

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What's the difference between Neal Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neal Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON, while Michael Jackson enjoyed touching young boys.

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Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

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Roses are red, Violates are blue. I have an erection, and its lasted more then three hours

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have you seen stevie wonder's house. no? Well nethier has he you

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What do you call two Muslims flying an airplane? Pilots

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Q: Whats 5+5 A:10

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A woman walks out of the kitchen.

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A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

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how hungry am i? well im as hungry a starving kid in africa!!!!

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A man gets a new job working for his boss. Later, he beats his boss in a fight, quits his job, and starts his own business. Historians later concluded that the man's life would serve as a perfect national allegory for the USA.

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Why did Justin Beiber cut his hair It had grown to long

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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Who made it down the cliff first the blonde or brunet? The brunet, the blonde had to stop for directions

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares...he didn't make it anyways..

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Josh Groban, John Mayer, Ben Folds and Nick Cave are at an underground club that specialises in lithuanian folk music and siberian vodka. end of story

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Then I contracted bronchitis from the smoke. Unfortunately I don't not have time to visit a doctor to mend this debilitation. In fact, nobody does.

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What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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What's small and doesn't turn girls on? A bottlecap.

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What dd the man say to his wife? Make me a samich!

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A black man walks into a bar, and when he left he paid his tab and couldn't have been more courteous.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

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What do retards eat for lunch? Grilled Cheese

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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