Why are women such horrible drivers? Their hair gets in the way.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A dead guy walks into a grave.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Chuck Norris doesn't drive a car. He tells the car where to go!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Kid 1: Mama why is my name Daisy? Mama: Because when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head! Kid 2: Mama why is my name Rose? Mama: Becuase it was a nice name.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the white man say to the black man? Nice Pants

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? Systemic oppression.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Women's professional sports

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what do the students call their red-headed friend? Mike.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

knock, knock Who's there? Statefarm... and we are always gonna be there for you

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what movie can a retarded 8 year old play the lead role in. Zathura

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's dark, scary, and full of puppies? My van. I lied about the puppies...

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the plane crash? Because the engine wasnt working.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Two penises walk into a minefield. Both are very careful with their every step and try not to be blown.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the little boy throw rocks at his sister? ...Because she has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

It's good to be a scientist and great to be a biologist. However, it is never okay to be a scientologist.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why is Lindsay Lohan out of prison? No, I'm asking.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red, violets are blue, your face belong in the zoo, don't worry I get there too, not in the cage, just visiting you :)

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats red and smells like black paint Red paint

thumb_up thumb_down -19

oh no a butt!!!!!!!!!! your stubid oh wait your right ahhhhhhhhhh

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats the difference between a man and a cat. There both different species.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: What was the last thing to enter the bug's mind as it flew into the windshield? A: His back legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops