what would happen if every overweight person in america jumped at the same time? they would all get a little exercise.

How do you make a lawyer cry? You can't. The production of tears requires a soul, which, regretfully, no lawyer possesses.

What do the Mexican man, the Asian man and the Jewish man all have in common? "man"

Roses are red, Violets are red, Daisies are red, OH SHIT! MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!!!

Max Head fingered himself, HAH

What did the Blonde do when she saw train tracks? She walked over slowly, looked both ways, and crossed safely

BOYS ARE DUMB AND THEY SMELL FUNNY AND IM ANGRY

What's the different between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my penis up your butthole

Women's Rights

Everyone is equal. It doesn't matter if you're black, red, yellow, brown, or normal.

What's red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple? The Color Wheel.

How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

I think my son might be gay. He's started to listen to Justin Bieber, and last week I walked in on him engaging in penetrative anal sex with one of his friends.

what do you get when you cross a baby and a car a baby shaped dent, and a dead baby

Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

Why is it good to date twenty eight year olds? Because there is twenty of them.

What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

-Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? -She had no arms. -Knock, knock. Who's there? -Not Sally.

What do you get a kid with no arms for Christmas? Hungry, Hungry Hippos.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares, it's a chicken.

What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? there are twenty of them

A boy is diagnosed with terminal cancer. His family prays for him and he still dies.

Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

what's worse then death? finding that your adopted, no one loves you and you mother raped you at the tender age of five.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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