Roses are red Violets are blue i have aides egg

What is brown and sticky? A stick

A musician without any music walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Who do you think you are, a hobbit?" The musician without any music says,"yeah" and turns into a hobbit

Why did the chicken cross the road? ... it wanted to cross the road.

Who would win, Chuck Norris or a T-Rex? The T-Rex, Chuck Norris would get ripped apart like any other human-being.

Q: What is harder than cleaning off baby bloodstains off a wall? A: Cleaning multiple baby blood stains off a wall.

W. If I was one thing other then a person why would I be? M. The sun. W. Aww, so I brighten your day? M. No, you're just hard to look at.

Q: What's worse than ten babies stapled to one tree? A: One baby stapled to ten trees.

whate white and cant climb trees? powdered sugar

What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Impossible, fruits to not have the ability to talk.

whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

KNOK KNOK WHOES THERE APPLE APPLE WHO SEE THIS IS Y U BROKE UP

Hollywood presents: In a world... Where darkness and crime is at every corner... The governments darkest secret... MUST... BE... UNLEASHED! Jack Kirby: So, with this technology I can swallow criminals and gain their abilities? But is there not a lot wrong with this? Hollywood: Meh... Sorry, we are gonna go with The Fast and The Furious 64: Mario Kart style.

If my wife has got 6 oranges in one hand and 6 apples in the other hand, what has she got? No chance of stopping an uppercut.

How do you know if a woman is cheating on you? If you catch her cheating on you

Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

How many women does it take to changed a light bulb? 12. 11 to form a committee and 1 to make her boyfriend do it.

What's better then finding an apple in the Holocaust? Finding a tunnel under the fence.

I told a priest that I would never believe in anything greater than myself. He said I had the God complex, that I was grandios. I stared him in the eye and asked, "how highly do you think of me? Thank you" and left.

Your mama is so black, she contributes regularly to the NAACP and the United Negro College Fund. Her donations and volunteer work help greatly.

How are Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga similar? They are both men except Justin Beiber

What's black an white and red all over? Two dead babies, one African American and one Caucasian split in half by a chainsaw.

Whats the difference........ Between a duck?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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