What do you get when you put two landsharks together? Three landsharks.

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What did the woman get for her 18th birthday? Stabbed to death.

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Have you seen the flock of birds? probably not because they hit a window and all died at impact.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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How many cats would it take to change a lightbulb? Cats can't change lightbulbs

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Weaner

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat low calorie foods because she wants to lose weight.

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So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

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Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

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Chuck Norris has normal human strength.

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richard is fag

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A unicorn, a smart blonde, a dragon, and a hobo are in a maze who gets out first? The hobo. The other 3 don't exist. By Adam Chebali

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A black man, a Mexican man, a Jew, an Asian man, and a white man get into a fight. Who won? Well since their dispute got all the way to a fight, I guess nobody really wins.

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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why did the boat sink the captain drove it into a pile of sharp rocks

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Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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How many squirrels does it take to screw out a light bulb? None because squirrels lack the strength and mind set to screw out a light bulb.

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Why was the black kid at school? Because he wanted to receive an education.

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Why do elephant tusks stick out? For uprooting trees and bushes, and for defending their young.

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teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

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A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

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What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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